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I really miss this space.

I miss coming back to this blog, this tiny little bright, cozy corner of the Internet that was all mine and was such a big part of my life for so long.  I miss taking a few minutes out of my day to pull up my laptop, drink a glass of wine (or 3) and keep track of the big things in my life, and the little things in my life, and the completely mundane things in my life that would have been completely forgotten about had I not recorded it for posterity.

Wading through the sometimes pointless, sometimes obnoxious, and often cringe-inducing (what is with the third person references, Lulu?!) posts in these archives allow me to look back and really marvel at some of the things I've done in this short life of mine.  Sometimes I sit at a stoplight in my 2011 Town and Country minivan, The Adventures of Peabody and Sherman blasting from the travel car TV behind my head, and can't believe there was a point in my life where I lived in New York City for 3 solid years.  

I'm happy that Instagram is a "thing", and that is allowed me to microblog, if you will, over the last few years to capture some day-to-day snapshots.  But I came back to this page for the first time in a looooong time- it's been almost a year since I even typed in the URL-  and am sad I didn't take the time to recap my trip to visit Ryan when he lived in Prague during grad school.  I'm sad I didn't rehash what it was REALLY like to semi-solo parent a destination wedding trip to Mexico with 2 small toddlers (newsflash: mostly not very vacation-y).

I'm not the journal writing type (good Lord, you should SEE my handwriting in real life), and I'm not good at keeping up on photo albums in this digital camera/camera phone age (the kids don't even HAVE baby books yet, which makes me feel guilty on a regular basis).  This has always been that little space in the world I have to catch little snippets of life and save it for later.

But bringing yourself to actively start blogging is a hard thing to bring oneself to do these days- there's this self-imposed pressure to have the most bright, clear, professional photos and the most spectacularly styled house and curated closet; a second-guess that the post you want to put together on your favorite recipe is somewhat "less than" because the cutting board is sitting on the brownish-greenish-grey granite of the house you rent, instead of on the crisp Carrera marble counter of that modern farmhouse of yours people can't seem to stop pinning photos of.

But that's just not who I am- I don't spend piles of money at Resto Hardware, and I can't DIY crown moulding into my rental house.  I can't do seasonal posts on the greatest new children's clothing, because right now I only shop for the kids once a year.  Nobody is going to be moved by my fashion posts because a) aloof fashion poses were never my strong suit (my modeling career abruptly ended at the age of 8 after a few print ads and a commercial for the local cable company), and b) I've mostly transitioned to a capsule wardrobe so I wear similar versions of the same thing each week.  Part of me feels like if I'm not doing those things to the Nth degree, or if I don't have a gimmick or some focused blog theme than I'm a mess and have no business posting on a public website.

But I'm kind of a mess- I'm trying to navigate this messy world just like all of you are, and I like weird, disparate things (I'm pretty sure I'm the only person on earth who was gifted the new book from Dita Von Teese AND a book on soil composition called Teaming With Microbes).  I'm ready (again... I think...) to get back to putting my chaotic, messy, awesome life back on my website, and have a place to come back to in 6 months or 6 years and cringe and laugh some at more.


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Lulu
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A Year In Our House

A Year In Our House



One year ago today, Ryan flew out to Carlsbad, CA to start his first day in his new job.  I woke up at 5am, packed up our hotel room, and grabbed some drive-thru McDonald's breakfast on the way to meet our moving crew and semi truck full of personal belongings.

I stepped foot in our empty house, put down the kids and my coffee on the hardwood floor, and turned to lock the door behind me.  Wilder crawled over to my hot coffee and spilled it all over the floor before I had the chance to take one sip.  No caffeine, no paper towels, no backup.

That's when it dawned on me that I'd be facilitating an entire move into a new house without my husband, with 2 small babies in tow (and without caffeine, no less).  I'm a very capable and confident person, but in that moment I wasn't sure how I would survive another relocation, the settling of another home, and more importantly surviving the next 6 months being a stay-at-home mom so close to the old job I loved, all while Ryan commuted to California every other week for work.

The move went great, the house was settled faster than any we've ever had, and most importantly, we've had a really, really great year.  Here's to another summer of greyhounds fresh from the pink grapefruit tree in the backyard that is now one of my favorite places on earth.


Back Yard 2015
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Lulu
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101 in 1,001 List - An Update


Well, that was embarrassing.

I just remembered that I was "actively" engaged in the big 101 in 1,001 List project I set out for myself in August of 2012, just a few months after we relocated to Wichita with a newborn in tow.  It's so funny, because I can picture where I was (waiting in the minivan while Ryan looked at a used car to buy) when I started drafting the list, and even remember the excitement of pushing Publish on the post detailing my list.

But now, I review the list, and can't help but snort (frequently) at some of the lofty goals I had set for myself-

No. 86- Watch AFI's Top 100 Movies of All Time?  Fairly cool in theory, but what do I do if they're not on Netflix?  It's not like I have a Blockbuster around the corner anymore, and I certainly don't have the motivation to start stalking them all on the local library website.

No. 87- Read 25 books from my AP English book list from 2000?  Another goal I've had since... well... since  I actually took AP English in 2000.  But I can't even re-prioratize my time to get through the pile of 50+ "I traded frequent flier miles I couldn't use for free subscription" magazines I've been hoarding in the garage for the last year.  And let's be honest- if I finally did carve out some reading time, the October 2014 issue of Food & Wine magazine would easily trump Dostoevsky.

Many of the items were centered on getting to know our new-to-us-at-the-time state of Kansas (visiting the Plaza in Kansas City at Christmastime, drive through the Flint Hills, take a family river fishing trip to Missouri like we used to do when I was a little kid).  We were actually able to hit more of those than I expected, but the rest went out the window when we relocated to Phoenix a year ago.

I'm a little bummed that some of the ones focusing on philanthropy (No. 65- donate to a diaper bank one a month) Waverly (like No. 49- save $100 a month for the baby, or No. 62- writing a letter to the baby every month on the 31st) all fell WAY short of expectations.  But I'd say that the (wonderfully) impromptu addition of No 102 to the list - Have a Second Baby- kind of threw everything out the window there.

For you-know-whats and giggles, I think I'm actually going to try and finish out the last month as strongly as I can.  I'm hoping to catch up on blogging about the other items I did manage to cross off my list, because a) that'll be fun to look back on in 10 years, and b) it will make me feel slightly better about one more grandly drafted list that I was too lazy/busy/overwhelmed to complete.  C'est la vie.

xoxo,

Lulu


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Lulu
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One Year in Phoenix

One Year in Phoenix


(This post was originally posted on my Instagram account, but in true Lulu fashion I got the date wrong so am memorializing it on the blog)

365 days ago, we took a couple of one-way flights from Wichita back to Phoenix. As we boarded our layover flight from Dallas to Phoenix, I ran into a half dozen of my old US Airways coworkers who were commuting back home in the thick of the merger with American Airlines. 

I felt a little lost, if I'm completely honest, as I could have been on that work trip myself but had left the company one year prior (working virtually part-time was hard with a 1 year old and no child care, but a 15 month old and newborn in the same situation would have been way too much to handle).  Here I was, surrounded by peers I respected on an airplane filled with the sounds of my fussy baby boy...  I will save an actual story of boarding that plane to Phoenix for another time, because it's still two comically painful to tupe right now.  Suffice to say, I was moving back to AZ with a completely new identity as a stay-at-home mom, and had no idea what being in Phoenix would be like as a mom and not a hard-charging corporate go-getter. 

I've had some growing pains, but am closing out this first year feeling so blessed for my current job and raising these sweet babes in our amazing home in an amazing neighborhood alongside my best friend. Phoenix- you've been good to us.

    


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Lulu
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Three- It's The Magic Number

Three- It's The Magic Number


Ryan's on a red eye flight to San Francisco for work, my mom's asleep in our casita, the kids are (finally) fast asleep, and I'm sitting in the quiet living room with a greyhound in hand, reveling at how a 3 year old's birthday could somehow be the best non-wedding, non-baby delivering day of my entire life.



Today was so low-key and basic and laid back (Waverly's first visit to the Fisney store, lunch in the mall food court, a visit to Ryan's office, and a quick stop at the dance wear store), and yet it was just bursting with magic and excitement and joy.  


I haven't properly slept in about 3 years (not counting pregnancy insomnia before that), and I'm about as scattered and disorganized as they come these days, but I just feel so lucky that my little world of chaos involves stewarding this little girl into a happy, respectful, loving person. 


You're a great kid, Waverly Spencer, and I'm so happy to call you mine.





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Lulu
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